I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
