I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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