Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
