Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
