he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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