someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
