Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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