dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
