he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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