Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It's just like the Real World with babies
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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