can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
