He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
