u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
