I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
