Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
