I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
