is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize