I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
