I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
