i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
