She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
