It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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