You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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