why do cheetos always look like penises
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
