Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
