I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
