He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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