I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
