I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
