so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
