omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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