So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
