just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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