So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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