When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
