Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
