Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
