According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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