i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize