I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
