Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
