Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
