Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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