Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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