Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize