so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he wants to bone in the snuggie
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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