See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
