my vag is so smooth its legendary
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
