i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
