i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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