if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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