I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
