a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You made out with two different species that night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
