so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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