WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
