he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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