You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
