Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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