question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
