Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
