Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
