Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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